In the words of the BBC; this year has truly been a haven for sporting excellence; Tiger Woods won the Masters against all odds, Tottenham lost a Champions league final, AJ was knocked out by a man who eats more than a hungover Nick in a kebab shop, and the UWMXDHC gents took on the toughest test of them all; a squad full of pompous, self-absorbed arseholes, also known as the University of Warwick Men’s 4’s; and not only did we do that, we did it hungover (they used the same excuse last year I believe).
We started by running a few short corner routines and then went for a half-pitch lap and a completed a few stretches to try and wear off those hangovers. The time then came for a coin toss, which we lost (this is in no way foreshadowing for the rest of the match). This meant the men’s team would start the game and we were immediately called into action.
We had a fairly mellow start to the game, I think it took us a while to realise that the opposition were cack at tackling. We were on the attack for most of the first half, and as I’m sure the defence will testify the match felt almost uncontested. As is often the case in this fixture, James Anderson scored the first goal of the game from an angle tighter than Aaran Somal's wallet when it comes to buying people drinks in Pop. The opposition defence were left astounded, most of them couldn’t understand how they had been bested by a mixed hockey player, and others simply couldn’t count to 1.
There were a few controversial decisions in the latter period of the first half; we are still adamant that Luke should have been awarded a p-flick after being blatantly taken out by the GK. In making up his mind, the umpire was slower than the inner mechanisms of a Coventry students brain and in the end sided with the team that shouted the loudest, which unfortunately wasn't us.
The second half was much more difficult, we actually had an opposition to defend against. An incredible spell of play in midfield from Tom Rice earned him a few worthy MOTM nominations and the now trademarked spin from Aaran Somal made the men’s midfielders look like shite.
It was not until a never-ending series of short corners that our solid defence was beaten. Having already missed 4 or 5 short corners and being wrongfully awarded one after Christian had saved it legally, some chunky fella from their team (men's 1's player) pinged one into the back of the net. The mood dropped slightly but we held on and even had a few last minute attacking efforts which were saved by the men’s team goalkeeper.
Full time and it was 1-1, but we couldn't just end it there, it went to the p-flicks.
5 brave lads stepped up and took penalties, each of which were very impressive but unfortunately it was just not our day.
This pill is more bitter to swallow than the ones at Andy’s house parties, but we lost 4-3 on penalties.
Special shout-outs go to James Anderson for MVP, Christian Perkins for answering the call in our time of need and Jacob Dutt for his debut game.
Thanks also go out to the leavers; Eddie Ayoub, James Anderson and Tommy Kew for putting in a fantastic performance and making myself and Mixed Hockey proud.
Thanks to everyone for putting in 100% in the training sessions and in the match and although it didn’t pay off this time, this was definitely one of the best performances I have seen from most of the team all season. It was a pleasure to play along side all of you and we’ll get them back next year.
UWMXDHC Gents 1 -1 UWMHC 4’s (UWMHC win 4-3 on pens)
James Anderson for his third consecutive goal in this fixture (and Tommy’s Left Bollock apparently)
Me for a 6 that Joe Root would be proud of