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mixed hockey Varsity 05/03/2020

3/5/2020

After two attempts (as the first match was called off due to bad weather and a frozen pitch), we unfortunately lost to Coventry University, 2-1. We played well, they played well, but in the end it wasn't the year for us. Hey ho, we go again next year!

A huge thank you to all our supporters who braved the cold weather, you made it all the more enjoyable to play!

For the full team list and match report(s), head over to the Varsity 2020 section on the website here.

Ladies BEGINNER Match 22/01/2020

1/31/2020

**DISCLAIMER** This report was written by me and me in it's entirety. However if you have any questions/queries please direct them at Nick Metcalfe #PlagiarismWho?
You've been warned.

UWMXDHC LADIES VS UWLHC 4S

I’m going to level with you, this match was over a week ago and I am realllllly rather hazy on the details. As a result, I’m gonna write this like a live match commentary aka in reverse with important highlights. Let’s go for a whirl! (The order may be entirely wrong lol).

Final result 4-1. Thanks for tuning in to this live commentary. See you again soon.

POTM: Cami. Put IN a shiftttttt in defence. The Pagen of our times (niche reference). I hadn’t seen someone reject so many advances since Billy week 10 term 2 pop last year at around 12:07 am.

DOTD: Rads for, and I quote, “banter”.

SHOUT OUT: WELL DONE EVERYONE WHO PLAYED THEIR FIRST GAME! YOU SMASHED IT AND I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT!!! HOPEFULLY SEE YOU ALL ON THE PITCH AGAIN SOOOOON. I’m looking at you Shavon, Elyse, Avneet, Tabitha, Brooke, Laura, Elizabeth and Freya. Way to go guys!!! :)))

FULL-TIME: The whistle goes. We won!!!!!!! Smashed it team, woo go us! Final score 4-1.

Goal! 4-1!! Picture this: the ball is passed into Bernie who’s got her back to keeper around 2/3m out from the goal. She controls it well, holds it up before taking it round the keeper (mugging them off lol) and slotting it in the empty goal.

Goal!! 3-1, don’t ask me how, not a clue, all I know was bernie scored it. Go team. I bet it was sick. Some real team build up play probably. Some mad skills I reckon too.

2-1: ELLA HAS BEEN MOVED TO CB! REPEAT! ELLA IS AT CB!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! She was pretty decent too tbf. *In a James Acaster voice* fair play….fair play.

GOALLLLL!!! Lily banged that bad boy bottom corner. Keeper had no chance! We lead 2-1 woooo!

1-1: We’ve won a short! Not sure what it was given for, got a bit distracted by the tunes still banging (god Nick and Charlie are unrivalled). We’ve got Lily lining up to bin this ball bottom corner. Fingers crossed. So El has just informed me that she won the short by drawing a foot (go pal!). Don’t really wanna rewrite the above bit tho cos it drops some truth about the DJing.

1-1: People be playing hockey. Our newbies are playing really well, doing yourselves proud.

GOOALLLL! 1-1. But it’s a sad one. It was them. We’re sad. Very sad. Oh well. Probs was a jammy goal. OH WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED IT WAS A BIT JAMMY. So really it doesn’t count. Good clean sheet guys.

1-0: Game restarts. Few position changes but how am I meant to know who and where over a week later smh. If only I had the smallest shred of organisational skills and could write this on time (RIP MY APPS).

Half-time. The ladies of the Warwick Mixed Hockey variety head into the changing rooms (or, more accurately, the rubbish dug out followed by the goal). It’s 1-0 to us. Billy is giving them some useful advice and tactics.

GOALLLLLL!!!! We scorreeddddd!!! Lily did nice lil run, got edge of D and binned it bottom corner. We just love to see it! Very nice finish indeeeed! 1-0 to us.

0-0: Not much to report. Balls getting stuck in midfield a lot. Both defences looking good. Some promising attacks from El, Ella, Brooke (shout out given its your first game!!) and Lily but falling at the final hurdle.

0-0: Both teams have had some good attacks but my god Cami is a BEASTTTTTTTT solid a rock at the back. Cleaning up as thoroughly as Brendan’s mum used to with his crusty socks back in the day (lol back in what day its now lol).

0-0: It’s a pretty cagey start, people are still finding they’re feet.

0-0: Okay they’re now ready to go! And now weeeee’re off! LETS GOOOOOOOO!!

Push-back!!! The tunes are blaring (shout out to Charlie and Nick for DJing like complete professionals [@Disco dave they’re coming for you]) and the team is……not ready to go they’re still chit chatting and the umpires and trying to hurry them up.

-Rads xoxo

Reading Match Report 20/10/2019

10/20/2019

Reading Match Report (20/10/19)

After a long battled start to the half. Reading burst into our D, with a glaringly obvious dive from the Reading forward, the umpire calls a short corner against Jacob Dutt for a “push” in the back to send the forward to the ground. However, with a well-executed short corner, with Reading slipping the ball to the left and slapped across goal with a sharp tap in to put Reading 1-0 up.

Shortly after the reset of play, with some sharp passing in the midfield the ball finds its way to Jamie Gibson who goes to take a reverse shot towards goal but is pushed with 2 hands in the back by the Reading defender before the shot could be taken. After some deliberation between the 2 umpires a green card (the only card of the game despite some nasty stick tackles and deliberate feet throughout the game) and a p-flick is awarded to Warwick. Alison Isherwood boldly steps up to take on the responsibility; despite a questionable p-flick (with the umpires exchanging looks) the ball finds its way into the back of the net. At least that’s one Charlie Weston couldn’t steal. 1-1

With Warwick taking quick advantage of the extra player advantage, a short corner is won. After 4/5 consecutive shorts, Jamie injects to Ella Ralli at the top of the D who slips the ball to the left for Katarina Hutchin who slaps it from 10 yards out. Charlie goes for a deflection which is stopped on the line but rebounded straight back onto his stick and eventually into the goal (not one of his best goals, but they all count).2-1 Warwick

Half time

After a lack of a team talk from Matt Pledge who thought chirpsing with some girls watching on the side-line was more worth his time than captaining us (no wonder he wasn’t chosen for Varsity). The game continues with Reading back to full strength. Warwick find themselves on the attack with some good possession in midfield. Jamie finds himself in the corner and drives into the D, managing to find some space for a rocket of a reverse forcing the keeper to make a world class save in the top right corner, leaving both teams in shock.

Just after half-time Oli Bradbury decides to pick a fight with a Reading player. Obviously still thinking he’s a big man despite not having Raihan Papilaya to back him up. With another burst of play Jamie finds himself in a similar situation and finds another shot once again forcing the keeper to make a quality save with an outstretched leg to the bottom left. Late on into the game Reading have a side-line ball inside our 23 yard line. Where Rai decides it was a good idea to call Dan Skells off from midfield despite needing to defend. Rai realising his mistake sprints on to the pitch to defend. But too little too late as Reading manage to force the ball into the back of the net from 5 yards out. 2-2

The game was coming to a close but in the dying embers of the game. Warwick find themselves with possession in the midfield. With 2 minutes left on the clock Jamie comes back on to the pitch (after some hassle with exchanging bibs), with a simple pass down the line from Charlie. Jamie drives to the bass line and into the D drawing several fouls. Short corner awarded, with 1 minute left on the clock Warwick push players forward looking for a last minute goal. Jamie injects the short to the top of the D which is once again slipped to Kat on the left. Kat takes a shot which is rebounded off a defenders stick and trickles into the goal. Once again, despite Charlie’s best efforts he couldn’t manage to keep up his goal-thieving ways, no matter how hard he tried. With one of the last hits of the game Warwick win 3-2.

A big win for Warwick, giving Oli a reason to claim he’s the better Bradbury. And Rhiannon showing her old club what winning looks like.

DOTD: Matt Pledge for multiple reasons but predominantly thinking he was actually good at flirting.

Honourable mentions: Charlie – Getting a talking to from the umpire after trying to claim a p-flick saying “it was defo a p-flick”

Oli – Thinking he could win in a fight

POTM: Alison – solid general performance in midfield controlling the game.

Honourable Mention: Eve Clarke for some quality defensive tackles all game.

COTD: Holly Bradbury

October 15th, 2019

10/15/2019

Trent match report (13/10/19)
Its been an entire week since we witnessed Brendan’s match report. The cocky Cambridge boys comparison of himself to Jesus was truly unexpected; especially given the only miracle he performed this week was turning a perfectly usable table into a broken one. In the bible, Jesus used fish to feed 5000 people, Brenters used a salmon dive to piss off the SU and waste an unholy amount of purple. Either way his efforts have proven a tough act to follow

Trying to continue our good form on the back of our 7-0 win last week and up against a strong Trent side, we knew it wouldn’t be easy. Luckily for mixed they had an incredible captain to carry them through. You’ve heard of captain America, you may have heard of captain jack sparrow but I am here to tell the tale of one Captain Matt Pledge – arguably the greatest to have ever held the title.

The opposition started strong with a few runs through the middle; but nothing was getting through Captain Pledge or his Mr Smee equivalent Billy Arnold. Trent considered taking up a WBS degree because they knew it would be easier to get through than the Warwick back line.

After a while of back and forth play; captain Pledge decided it was time for his team to score and instructed that Ella scored. Obviously she listened to her captain and followed out his commands. And thanks to Pledge (and in some part Ella) it was 1-0. The second goal went to former Captain Charles Weston – the goal was incredible, a lovely little meg on the keeper whose legs were more open than (insert euphemism).

Pledge decided this wasn’t enough and told the team more goals were required to appease their captain. Frightened of facing his wrath our attacking duo slotted 2 more goals past the keeper. This made Captain Pledge very happy and the score stood at 4-0 at half-time. However what did not make Pledge happy was the fact that his team had already had a green and a yellow card after 1 half of play – believe it or not Oli Bradbury actually knew to leave the field after his card this time. Alison was also unhappy because Charles apparently stole a goal from her. But he has assured me that from playing with her for so long he knew she would have found a way to miss and he was just looking out for the club.

The second half was a little different; we still got two cards but only scored twice. The first came from Oli with a lovely strike – Barcelona fans should look away now – following a corner taken quickly. The final goal was arguably the best, so good that the celebration started before the shot had been taken. Yes captain pledge, leading by example. An incredible run, so gruelling that his knee disintegrated before he could take the shot resulting in not only a superb strike but also a move so elegant it could have featured in a Tchaikovsky ballet.

As it was my mum’s birthday yesterday, I thought it nice to get her a card, and as the umpires were so lovely they decided to help me out. Will a green one suffice they asked, ‘it’ll do perfectly’ I said. What they did not say though was that now my team would have to survive a full two minutes without me. If I was not coaching from the sideline, I honestly have no idea how they would have managed it but the team came through.

The game finished 6-0 to Warwick Mixed, another win and another clean sheet and a very happy Captain. The game could have been 7/8-0 but Ella was determined to not score a hattrick for some reason.

POTM: Ella Ralli

DOTD: Aaran Somal (Yellow card), Ella Ralli/Oli Bradbury/Matt Pledge (Green card). Ikr more dicks than in Tommy’s search history

COTD: Luke Reynolds

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mixed hockey Varsity 05/03/2020

Ladies BEGINNER Match 22/01/2020

Reading Match Report 20/10/2019

October 15th, 2019